If you’ve watched Silicon Valley, you know the scene. The deal is on the table. The momentum is real. The future is finally opening up. And right at the moment of peak success?
Richard vomits.
Most people watch that and laugh. They think it’s just "startup anxiety." But as someone who coaches high-capacity founders and leaders through the lens of NLP and nervous system regulation, I see something much deeper.
I see a body that has hit its Success Threshold. And if you’re a high-functioning woman leader who suddenly "gets foggy," procrastinates, or starts pick-apart your team right when things get good—you’ve felt this too.
Success is a Threat to the Survival Brain
We’re taught that we’re afraid of failure. But for many of us, failure is actually a comfortable "home." We know the furniture there. We know how to survive a crisis. We have a strategy for "not enough."
Success is the real danger.
Success brings visibility. It brings responsibility. It brings the risk of being "seen" and then—eventually—being abandoned or judged.
When your business expands, your nervous system doesn’t say, "Congratulations!" It asks: “Is it safe to be this big?”
For many leaders, the answer is a resounding no.
The Infant Wound: The Root of the "Brace"
This doesn't start in your boardroom. It starts in your first year of life.
I call this the Infant Wound. It’s the stage where we learn about safety, belonging, and needs. If you grew up in an environment where love felt conditional—or where you had to be "the easy one" or "the helper" to be safe—your body learned a hard rule:
"If I relax, I lose my connection." "If I’m not needed, I’ll be left."
Now, fast forward to your leadership today. You don't look "unsafe." You look highly capable. You’re the one everyone relies on. But underneath that mask, you are bracing.
You are constantly scanning for the "other shoe to drop." You over-function because you don't trust that you’re allowed to just exist and still be supported.
Why Failure Feels Like Relief
Have you ever noticed a strange sense of calm after a launch "fails" or a client leaves?
That’s the paradox.
When things fall apart, the uncertainty is over. The "threat" of the big, scary win has resolved. Your system finally says, "Ah, okay. We’re back in the struggle. I know how to do this."
This is why self-sabotage isn't a character flaw. It’s a safety behavior. Your body would rather ruin the win than endure the prolonged uncertainty of being "seen." You sabotage because you’d rather lose on your own terms than be "found out" on someone else’s.
You Can’t "Mindset" Your Way Out of a Survival Response
This is where traditional leadership coaching fails. You can reframe your thoughts all day, but if your nervous system equates Visibility with Danger, your body will hit the brakes every single time.
You don't need a better strategy. You need a safer body.
In my work with founders, we use the THRIVE Method™ to go back to the "source code." We don't just talk about boundaries; we make it safe in your body to have them.
We work through the Homecoming Method to dissolve beliefs like:
"I must earn love through usefulness."
"Safety comes from control."
"If I stop doing, I stop being valuable."
When that Infant Wound heals, success stops feeling like exposure. It starts feeling neutral. It starts feeling like... home.
A Different Kind of Leadership
You don’t have to be like Richard Hendricks. You don’t have to vomit your way through your biggest wins.
True authority isn't something you earn by being the most indispensable person in the room. It’s something you embody when you finally realize that you are safe even when you aren't "doing."
I am currently opening the waitlist for my June Inner Child Healing for Feminine Leaders Mentorship.
This is for the woman who is tired of bracing. For the leader who is ready to drop the weight of "carrying it all" and finally feel safe in her own expansion.
If your body is saying "yes" while your mind is saying "maybe," trust the body.
Join the June Mentorship Waitlist here
Reflection for the scroll: What is one "good thing" in your life right now that you’re currently bracing against? What would happen if you just let it be good?