I was talking to a friend recently who has a beautiful business, a solid team, and years of experience. She looked at me and said, "Fristy, I still feel like I’m waiting for the 'real' adults to show up and tell me I’m doing a good job."
We laughed, but it hit home.
You’ve probably been there too. You have the strategy. You’ve done the deep inner work. You’ve even got the results to prove you know what you’re doing. Yet, there’s this tiny, quiet part of you that’s still looking around the room for a green light.
You think you need one more certification. Or a "perfect" launch. Or maybe just a nod from a mentor you admire.
But the truth is a bit simpler (and maybe a bit more annoying): The permission you’re looking for isn't coming in an email. It’s not a title. It’s a feeling in your bones.
The toddler in the boardroom
This isn't actually a "confidence" problem. It’s what I like to call the Toddler Wound.
Think about a three-year-old. That’s the age where we first start realizing we have a "Will." We start saying "No." We start wanting things that don't always make sense to the adults around us.
At some point, most of us learned that our "Will" was a bit too much. We learned that being "correct" was the only way to stay safe. We learned that as long as we had someone else's "Yes," we were allowed to move forward.
Now, you’re running a company, but that three-year-old is still holding the remote.
You over-research every move to make sure it’s "right."
You ask everyone else's opinion before you trust your own gut.
You delay the big stuff because you don't feel "ready."
The funny thing? You aren't unready. You’re just looking for a permission slip from an authority figure who doesn't live in your house anymore.
The "Blurry" Leader
When we wait for permission, we become what I call a Blurry Leader.
It’s hard to follow someone who is constantly leaning forward, looking for approval. If you’re always trying to stay "easy to work with" or "palatable," your edges get soft.
Your team can’t feel where you stand. And if they can’t feel your boundaries, they can’t fully trust your lead.
Real authority isn't about being the loudest or the "rightest" person in the room. It’s about being the most clear. It’s the moment you stop looking for a nod of approval and you just... sit back into your own spine.
Your authority is a frequency. People can feel it when you finally decide that you are the one you’ve been waiting for.
Giving the throne back to the Woman
You don’t need more advice. (You probably already have too much of it.)
What you need is to return to the parts of you that learned to be quiet just to stay safe. When that little girl feels safe enough to be "too much," the Woman can finally take the throne.
Leadership gets a lot quieter—and a lot easier—the moment you stop asking for permission to exist in your own power.
You aren't "playing house" anymore. This is your house.
A little space for you
I’m opening a very small, quiet circle for 5 women who are tired of outsourcing their power. We start on March 18.
This isn't a "how-to-be-a-boss" program. It’s 10 weeks of deep, somatic work to help your nervous system feel safe enough to actually own the seat you’re already sitting in. We move from that early "Am I doing this right?" energy into a grounded, calm sovereignty.
If you’re ready to stop looking for the green light and start being the source of your own safety, I’d love to have you.
Apply for the Inner Child Mentorship here
Frequently asked questions
You probably will. But a "wrong" decision made from your own clarity is a thousand times more powerful than a "right" one made to please someone else. You’ll learn more, and you’ll keep your integrity.
Fear usually feels like a "lean forward"—it’s pushy, loud, and urgent. Intuition usually feels like a "lean back." It’s quiet, steady, and doesn't feel the need to argue its case. We work on feeling that difference in your body.